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Statutaur XXV

by Uppity

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1.
Lookin' Good 02:08
I’m looking good and I feel like trash A Rolls Royce that’s bound to crash A phoenix that’ll turn to ash I’m looking hot but my body’s cold I’m fresh faced but my skull is old Look like a mill, but I got no cash My name is Dylan, I feel like trash I am feeling very bad He is such a handsome lad I am feeling very poor He’s successful, that’s for sure I am trapped inside a shell World’s his oyster, ain’t that swell? "I’m literally in hell!" I’m waking up in the afternoon It’s like I can’t live without the moon My werewolf ways gonna catch up soon I'm so sick I might be immune I am feeling very bad He is such a handsome lad I am feeling very poor He’s successful, that’s for sure I am trapped inside a shell World’s his oyster, ain’t that swell? "I'm literally in hell!" I wanna change my lupine ways My Seagram's and quinine phase All of my friends know when to quit I’m feeling faint but I'm looking fit
2.
This weekend we will know for sure One more for the road, it’s on me Did you see that mess in the commode? Hoo-wee! Hey, did you hear they recalled all the spinach? Hallucinogenic, they say How is your wife? I saw her pick your kids up from school yesterday, by the way One more before you hit the hay It’s only midnight, what do you say? Hey. Are you Cinderella, or Can you hang like a warrior? This weekend we will know for sure Can you hang like a warrior? If that’s a yes, you get a pass We’ll break the night just like this glass Why are the lights turning on, and where have all the patrons gone? He was sitting right beside me Now that seat’s unoccupied He ditched me, yes to my surprise he ditched me when I blinked my eyes That bitch, he probably’s a cuck Next time I see his wife I’ll fuck— Oh hey, man, my bad No man I’m fine, I’m not mad I guess I should have Noticed you got up to use the lav One more for the road, would you please, it’s on me A nightcap before you catch some z’s, two or three Hey can we get another pitcher of the imperial stout And some picklebacks and some pretzels the carbs keep us from passing out Are you merely an amateur Or can you hang like a warrior? Before dawn we will know for sure Can you hang like a warrior? Are you merely an amateur Or can you hang like a warrior? Before dawn we will know for sure Can you hang like a warrior?
3.
I love you all, so tell me why This sentiment seems misapplied? I'm filled with light. There's no pretense I can't tame My benevolence Guess I'm misunderstood Maybe I am too good Call me vain, you won't hear me complain Because I'm a pillar of your community My track's immaculate, so why can't you see that what I want to give to you is unbridled and true aid and affection? That's my predilection Perfection is what I have. Rejection is what you give but one you'll see things my way Centaur: I'm your mentor Centaur: I'm your mentor Why can't all of you know what I know is the best for us all? Why? I love you all That's all I've got This sentiment Doesn't mean squat
4.
Human Waste 04:50
You shook a hand it was moist, you snickered and you grinned Snickering and grinning, you and your loyal little friend But life can be burdensome with a conjoined twin Wished they let him perish at birth, severed from your skin What's that? Human waste He's on you—human waste He needs you. Human waste But you kept coming back for human waste Saw you vegetate right before his beady little eyes Saw you join the ranks and your core became desensitized Now you're still breathing, you have a livelihood at stake It was not so hard after all for you to forsake this Human waste He loves you Human Waste Regards you Human Waste It drains you, oh that human waste Want to erase his face
5.
Old Days 03:25
Never again could she feel that way She can pretend, or she can downplay But that was the time when all was defined In her little pre-dystopian mind On the roof of a burnt up hotel The bulletproof windows and stairwells Covered in ash, with a no smoking sign These things can stick to teen age Like ink on a page Dreaming about the old days With neon blacks and hot grays MRIs and x-rays Find the regions that contain the old days Charging a fee, memory’s on file Noting when she says it’s been awhile Tell the machine everything it needs to know To sell a simulacrum of the hotel back to “Me, yes me,” she says with glee Well madam, there is a fee Sign it away, there you go, you dumb whore The reboot just knocked on her door Wearing Dior® Dreaming about the old days With neon blacks and hot grays MRIs and x-rays Find the regions that contain the old days
6.
Ice Goddess 03:27
7.
Eccentric 01:27
Look at me I'm so eccentric So crazy I once sucked a pit bull's dick Maybe next I'll pull a born again schtick Pay attention mommy, I'm eccentric
8.
I can't see likes Must love to hike And fixed gear bikes Don't say hi I'm sick of that Be witty and wry And must love cats 'Cause I can't see likes Well, I'm a gemini And I'm a femini I'm intersectional And intersexual And I'm an empath And I hate men But I love to laugh I'm free this weekend But I can't see likes Every man's the dad I wish I never had Don't need complexity Just solidarity 'Cause that means equality Right? I can't see likes
9.
10.
Yeth 00:08
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.

about

Here are collected our earliest works, back when we were the power trio of Dylan, Leo and Pat. We spent way too much time practicing and not enough time self-advertising in those days, which likely explains the obscurity of these recordings, but they were actually released many moons ago to a handful of friends and incredulous record reviewers.

This isn't just a simple reissue, however—in fact, with all the mutations that went on here at Promontory Sound over the subsequent years, these are pretty much brand new songs at this point. We spaghettified spacetime on these fuckers and now they're transhistorical.

You heard us.


Tracks 1-7 were recorded in October of 2000 and released in small quantity shortly thereafter as the Sea Section EP.

Tracks 11-14 were recorded in the winter of 2002 and released in an edition of 100 copies the following year on our then-new Laser Seizure Records imprint.

The other material is either live or performed in our rehearsal space down on Hester & Orchard, which was just a rat and cockroach-infested basement under a fragrant Chinese restaurant.

If you purchase a download, you'll also get a free one-track EP entitled "Unauthorized Bootleg." It's got a smattering of rarities you don't want to miss, unless you do. I mean, we can't tell you how to feel.

Yet.

credits

released July 24, 2023

Music composed by Dylan Sparrow
© 1998-2023 Laser Seizure Music
except 1 (Sparrow/Durnin) & 13 (Sparrow/Soriano)

Live material was mostly not composed, although“High Score” was an arrangement of a Darius Twin tune by Furukawa/Ohnuki.

Dylan Sparrow - Voice, guitar, keyboards
Pat Soriano - Bass
Leo Penkovsky - Drums

Recorded by Paul Schellack @ Midnight Music and K. Abrams @ Black Van Sound

Post-production and additional recording/mixing by Dylan Sparrow @ Promontory Sound

Special guest: Eric Marty (second guitar on 11)

Special thanks to the East River, Old English 800, Numb Lock, and the Stuy Town security guards

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